Friday morning spreadsheets.

23 Jul

When you get to sleep in, do you stay in bed for awhile after you wake up? Just sort of rolling around lazily and feeling the cold spots of your sheets, while you close your eyes and imagine that you’re still in your dream from five minutes ago? It’s pure bliss. It would take something really super important to tear me from that haven of comfort. Something really disrupting and alarming – like a phone call from a temp agency.

I’ve been with Pancoast Staffing since April or May, and haven’t worked a single job for them yet. There have been a few offers here and there, but never anything I was interested in or able to do. So yesterday, while I’m perusing their website, I see this:

“Copy Editor; Non-Profit publisher looking for someone with knowledge of Chicago Manual Style (or similar), Adobe In-Copy (or similar)…”

With fervor, I scribbled down information about the job for when I’d call Pancoast. I also found an administrative assistant position that sounded perfect, paying like $12 an hour and I’m totally qualified for it.

Which brings us to 45 minutes ago, when my phone rang and totally interrupted me cuddling with my own bed. In the spirit of lazy-bed time, I ignored the call and just checked the voicemail.

“Hi, Pam, this is April from Pancoast.”

Naturally, I jumped out of bed and ran to the computer downstairs. I read over the job descriptions again, ready to explain why I should get the copy editing position. Pancoast hasn’t called me in months, so I was pret-tay sure they were calling me because of my background in journalism.

Yeah. And maybe someday monkeys will fly out of my BUTT.

“So you’d be working one day at the West Deer festival with a chiropractor, having people sign up for free scoliosis screenings. Are you interested?”

THIS IS NOT A CAREER. THIS ISN’T EVEN PART-TIME. YOU’RE ASKING ME TO DO A DAY’S WORTH OF WORK, AT A CARNIVAL, WITH SOME WEIRD CHIROPRACTOR I DON’T EVEN KNOW?! HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?

Instead of screaming at this woman, though, I politely told her I was actually interested in other jobs on the website. We talked about how I don’t have 7 years of publishing experience and how I don’t know what Oracle is, but she seemed genuinely helpful and so I’m going to call her on Tuesday to see what progress there is.

Maybe I’ll just stay in bed until then.

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