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I hate my job.

13 Jul

So I’ve been looking at other countries’ Dunkin Donuts websites today. This is some of the most interesting shit to me, although I wish it weren’t. Working at Dunkin has made me obsessed with the entire franchise – in a nerdy, introspective sort of way. But these foreign DD entities are amazing in their own adorable ways.

For instance, Germany’s DD website features their slogan, “Man can eat, man can drink.” HEY, AREN’T WE FORGETTING ABOUT THE LADIES HERE?

The Peruvian DD website makes a point of letting everyone know that “Glazed” is their most popular variety. I’ve been wondering all this time.

Taiwan has some of the coolest looking shit I’ve ever seen. I want every Dunkin Donuts to have ridiculous drinks like this.

Taiwan: $75 FOR SOME TEA?!?!

But Bulgaria takes the cake; well, DONUT I should say. Google translated their website for me, and I feel like it’s probably pretty literal:

“Not everyone has a crush on getting the cocks in first…”

WHEW! Because if everyone did, we’d just have a huge mess on our hands now wouldn’t we?

“When you stretch your leg out of bed, always smile broadly because the day started with a smile is much more promising than that met with sullen murmur.”

Just like the old saying goes!

Why am I not on a plane on my way to Bulgaria right now?

“Original coffee filter with a little cream will satisfy even the most staunchest caffeine deprivation.”

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, you’re supposed to eat the filters. You guys wouldn’t believe how we do it in America.

This makes for some amazing donut descriptions, too.

“Donat “Saher”: Most deserved cause of bias. Chocolate cake, flooded with dark chocolate.”

I’m just eating this shit up right now. Mostly because all I get at work is “HOW MANY DONUTS ARE IN A DOZEN, MA’AM?” and “IS THAT WITH THE SENIOR DISCOUNT” or “I’LL HAVE A NO-CHEESE-HAM-EGG-AND-CHEESE-BUT-NO-CHEESE-SANDWICH-WITH-NO-CHEESE”. I imagine this blog, since it’s about my weird lyfe, will be full of Dunkin-centric stories. ┬áThis is going to be the most-read blog ever.